You & Me Against The World
by Tutups
Summary: I'll Stand By You song-fic. Est.Snarry AU post-DH 5years. Warnings; Angst, mentions of torture of a child,slightly ooc Sev."Since the end of the war three years previously Harry could count on one hand how many decent nights sleep Severus had enjoyed."


Harry felt the man launch out of what he had hoped for once might have been peaceful slumber. He knew it couldn't carry on. Since the end of the war three years previously Harry could count on one hand how many decent nights sleep Severus had enjoyed.

_**Oh, why you look so sad? **_

_**Tears are in your eyes**_

_**Come on and come to me now.**_

_**Don't be ashamed to cry,**_

_**Let me see you through **_

_**Cause I've seen the dark side too. **_

_**When the night falls on you,**_

_**You don't know what to do,**_

_**Nothing you confess could make me love you less **_

_**I'll stand by you,**_

_**I'll stand by you,**_

_**Won't let nobody hurt you,**_

_**I'll stand by you.**_

Enough had become enough, Harry could no longer sit back and watch the man he loved waste away, whatever was wrong was slowly killing them both. Harry propped himself up under the bedcover.

"Severus?"

"It's alright Harry, go back to sleep, love."

Harry didn't listen, instead he sat fully upright and after a moments hesitation laid his palm on the Potion Master's shoulder in a show of silent support

"Severus, what is it? What haunts you?"

At first Harry hadn't questioned how every time he woke up drenched in sweat, screaming, or both it was Severus who was there for him with a cup of hot chocolate and a protective arm around him until he felt secure enough to allow sleep to invade his mind. He hadn't questioned it until he stopped having nightmares about Fred's last laugh or Colin Creevey's broken, underage, body.

As a tear slipped through the elder mans closed eyelids Harry snaked his arms around Severus and waited for his lover to yield to his embrace. A calloused hand swiped at the tear and Severus turned his head away in an attempt to hide his shame as tears continued to race down his face.

"There's no shame in it, you know?"

Harry didn't expect and answer but he was surprised by how tense Severus suddenly felt in his arms.

"A wise old man once told me that suffering, that feeling pain is a part of being a man and proves that you are still human, that however much it hurts, it's a part of being human…"

"Clearly, we have a different understanding of the word wise, it sound like that old man was just a doddery old fool."

"Fools who wear their heart proudly on their sleeve for the entire world to see," Severus seemed to recognise to words, "are not weak, we do not need to master ourselves nor discipline our minds. We know that the weak man isn't the one who allows his emotions to control him; the weak man is the one who fears that his emotions will master him if he allows them to surface."

"When did you get so… philosophical?"

"I grew up, you should try it sometime."

Severus managed a small chuckle that could have easily been misconstrued as a sob.

"Do you want to, y'know, talk?"

Severus' derisive snort tugged at Harry's heartstrings.

"And lose the only thing I have left?"

"What? No, _never, _just know, I'm here for you, anytime; day or night."

Harry squeezed the thin frame in his arms and pulled away. He was just about to lie back down.

"I, I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of."

Harry froze in shock.

"Severus," he wrapped his arms around the man again and swiped at a length of hair leaving an area of flesh exposed for a moment before his lips descended and pressed against the man's neck, "there is nothing, _nothing _you could say that would make me walk away, I _love_ you, nothing could ever change that."

_**So, if you're mad get mad,**_

_**Don't hold it all inside,**_

_**Come on and talk to me now.**_

_**And hey, what you got to hide?**_

_**I get angry too**_

_**Well I'm a lot like you.**_

_**When you're standing at the crossroads,**_

_**Don't know which path to choose, **_

_**Let me come along,**_

_**Cause even if you're wrong **_

_**I'll stand by you,**_

"How do you, you don't even." Severus' emotions seemed to be riding a rollercoaster, he'd just reached the angry checkpoint and Harry seriously considered giving up. "Fool, I've done things your mind couldn't even comprehend, I'm a monster."

"NO!" the denial burst from his chest before Harry could prevent it.

"Yes!" Severus insisted passionately still not looking at Harry. "I'm not a good man, I'm evil, I'm cruel, I watched a six year old beg for her life just because she was a muggle." Harry's arms tightened protectively again.

"Get off of me! I'm not worth your pity, nor do I want it, Potter!"

"Go on, get mad and run away! Isn't that all you ever do (!)"

"Like you are now, you mean?"

"Come on, don't hold back, I wouldn't!" He didn't stop to consider if provoking Severus was the right thing to do.

"Shut up, Potter!"

"I'm not one of your students; you can't hide your feeling forever."

"Watch me." Sarcasm was good; it meant Severus was actually paying attention.

"What have you got to hide?"

"Nothing that concerns you."

Harry's voice had softened fractionally. "_You_ concern me, Severus…" Harry faltered slightly. "Look at us, tearing each other new ones; we're just, too damn well alike!"

Severus' incredulity was obvious.

"Ha, you're nothing like me, you're good and-"

"Good? Are you sure? I killed a man in cold blood, I've tortured people and really, honestly enjoyed it, I've watched people die and done nothing," his voice cracked, "nothing to help… I couldn't save them…"

"_You_ didn't have a choice."

When had the roles reversed? Harry needed to take control or it just wouldn't work.

"And you did? You had about as much control over the situation as that muggle girl; the difference is you can move on."

"What do you know? Really? You're just a child; I'm actually old enough to be your father!"

Anger flooded Harry's thoughts for a second.

"And you're an arrogant prick if you think age is any more than a label, a number pinned on a person by society, if you think age makes any difference maybe you shouldn't be here!"

"Maybe I _should _leave." His tone was seriously contemplative as he stared at the candle flame above the bedside table.

"You're at a crossroads, but no matter what you do, you're going to have one hell of a job getting rid of me-"

"Really?" Severus' stunned disbelief made Harry want to give the man a good crack up the back of his head but he settled for another impassioned speech instead.

"Wherever you go, whatever you do, be you right or wrong… I'll be there; it'll be you and me against the world."

_**I'll stand by you,**_

_**Won't let nobody hurt you,**_

_**I'll stand by you.**_

_**Take me into your darkest hour,**_

_**And I'll never desert you. **_

_**I'll stand by you.**_

Severus hesitated, "She had black, jet black hair, perfectly straight and striking blue eyes. She looked like a doll, a real heartbreaker." Severus leaned and opened a draw before pulling out a small white stuffed rabbit with pink paw pads and inner ears. Harry couldn't help smiling as he saw it nestled in Severus' hand and laid another kiss on his partner's still exposed neck.

"I held her down as they tortured her, I remember whispering nonsense in her ears in an attempt to calm her, take her mind off-" sobs took over and Harry felt the backs of his eyes prickle white hot, "she was thrashing and writhing in my arms as they cursed her, she was begging for them to stop." Severus finally brought his gaze up to meet Harry's.

"I, I broke her neck with my bare hands."

Harry bit his lips; he had nothing to say to that because he knew empty platitudes were just that- empty.

Severus misinterpreted his silence for disgust.

"I told you I'm a monster."

"No, no you're not; you probably saved her a lot of pain."

"Maybe."

"Definitely! If it was me, I'd be so grateful to you," His voice cracked slightly, "I am so grateful to you."

"What?" Where had that legendary eloquence toddled off to?

Harry put his hand on Severus' cheek, he felt a flare of worry as he realised he could feel the bone under the paper thin layer of skin. He steeled himself mentally.

"If it wasn't for you, I'd have committed suicide by now-"

"Don't, just, don't. Don't even jest."

"Who's jesting, love? You kept me alive, and you're keeping my alive."

Harry's words must have hit a nerve because Severus finally nodded in acceptance.

"Well then."

Harry's hand trailed down Severus' too thin torso and came to rest above his stomach. He waited before pulling the rabbit from Severus' grip.

"Did you, did you ever find out her name?"

"Melody, Melody Ocean. She was, wore a medical alert bracelet; diabetic. She told me to call her Mel, insisted actually." Severus smiled slightly before a grimace crossed his features.

Harry nodded not trusting himself to speak he put the rabbit next to the candle. Severus was staring at him strangely but Harry still didn't open his mouth, he pulled Severus into a soft hug and held him.

_**And when, when the night falls on you baby,**_

_**You're feeling all alone,**_

_**You won't be on your own,**_

_**I'll stand by you.**_

Together they grieved for all they had loved and lost. Together they took the first tenuous step into the future.

_**I'll stand by you **_

_**I'll stand by you, **_

_**Won't let nobody hurt you.**_

_**I'll stand by you **_

_**Take me in into your darkest hour and I'll never desert you **_

_**I'll stand by you**_

* * *

_**I do not own Harry Potter- JKR does. No lawsuits please. Thank you!**_

_**I do not own the song, credit to C Hynde, B Stanbery and T Kelly. I prefer the Pretenders version and that's what this fic is based on. **_

**_Please R&R_**

**_Con-critters accepted gratefully. _****_Flamers are ignored, _****_thankyou._**

_**Stats**_

_**1630 MS-Word Count**_

_**111 paragraphs**_

_**231 lines**_

_**7320 characters (no spaces)**_


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